What is the ‘Shit Test’?

This article is a rehash of a subject already well and truly covered by the red pill. But for the purposes of building some kind of corpus of knowledge on this website for the benefit of men in Perth, I’m publishing this article nevertheless.

Some of this material is purloined from The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida. It was first published in 1997, and was somewhat of a pre-cursor to the knowledge of the now diasporic red pill philosophies. I highly recommend this book as an excellent examination of the differences between the sexes, and as a practical guide for improving your relations with women.

Why women piss us off so much

The shit test refers to a method by which women test men. This article focuses on situations when a woman tests her man in a romantic endeavour – though I have a hunch that women do similar things in the work place and in other non-sexual areas of life.

So, what exactly is a shit test, and why is it called thus?

When are you taking the bin’s out?

I don’t want to go to your friend’s party

I’m not in the mood tonight

A shit test is something your woman does to test you, to mess with your brain, to frustrate you and get under your skin. All women do this to their man: it’s an inherent part of their biology. Why? It stems back to the hypergamous nature of women: she wants to have the best man she can obtain. She wants the best genetic offspring; the best physical protection; the best financial stability. And if you take the view (in accordance with both Creationism and evolution – take your pick; though not in accordance with feminist ideology) that the man is the breadwinner, the defender, the guide; and the woman is the follower, the servant, the nurturer, then it stands to reason that the woman will want the man who is best able to provide her with these things. Conversely, this is why men prefer younger women – they offer more of the things that men actually want (to the chagrin of the jaded, aged feminist): fertility, beauty and innocence.

But whilst the desirable attributes of a woman are easily discernable at first sight, the desirable attributes of a man are more subtle. Sure, a man may appear tall and strong, and give the appearance of being able to defend himself in a fight. But can he actually keep his head clear in a fight so as to fight to win? And is he smart enough to even know whether he should even engage in the fight at all? What about a man’s capacity for earning an income? He may dress well – which is a good signal for some degree of financial ability – but can he support her and her children in the long run? These characteristics are generally not immediately apparent at first glance. So the woman needs to prod and pry into the man’s psyche, to see what kind of stuff he’s made of. And all women are experts at this, according to red pill wisdom. My wife is certainly no exception.

Are you a rock or a reed?

So a woman tests her man to see what kind of man he is.

Can he be an alpha in this world? Can he rise to the top of the pack, or will he be mauled by the mutts of this world?

Is he a rock; or is he moveable, tossed about by the waves and every wind?

Will he be the calm and collected man under pressure? Or will he collapse when tested, and allow her to dominate the situation, and thus invite her contempt?

She must know, with absolute certainty, the answer to these questions: her life, and her children’s lives, depend on it.

The shit test manifests in many different ways, and the nature of the shit test varies depending on the level of respect your woman has for you. The more she respects you, the more cunning and subtle the shit test will be. But a woman who has no respect for her man will engage in the most outrageous shit tests, which really are no longer about testing the man – hope is all but lost and she will leave him for the next man that comes her way: they are about humiliating him for his weakness. I’m imaging phycho-crazy crockery-chucking tantrums; open disdain and ridicule in front of others; regular refusal to have sex with her man (despite his constant whinging).

Connie loses the plot. (Not condoning what follows after.)

Yet as the woman’s respect for a man increases, the tests do not stop, because the woman’s safety depends on her knowing where her man stands in the hierarchy at all times. But she at least feels relatively comfortable such that the rate and severity of the tests can ebb. And she also knows that smashing the dinner plates won’t work with her man – he’ll just leave her. But she simply must know exactly where the line is.

How far can she push him?

So she drills deeper and deeper, building an ever-more-nuanced view of just where her man stands. Her shit tests are subtle: emotional testing based on cleverly placed words and questions. Small darts, that if you’re not aware, you won’t even notice. Nor will she, I suspect, consciously know she is throwing such small darts. But if your response if wrong, at a subconscious level, her respect for you will decrease slightly. So she will ask annoying questions (i.e. nagging), or get a bit sulky for incomprehensible reasons. But it is imperative that you understand: she doesn’t actually care about the answer to these questions, nor is there anything you can do to fix her sulkiness. What she wants is to know how well you keep frame in response to her actions.

The question isn’t the question

When she asks ‘when are you going to put the bins out’, she is not so much concerned with the bins as with what kind of grip you have on affairs at home. If you’re playing video games all the time, what she’s really saying is “I’m concerned your focus on video games is detracting from your ability to protect and care for me”, or if you’re just forgetful about the bins, she’s really saying “how can you take care of me in this dangerous world, when you have such a poor memory?” Can I trust you with my wellbeing? Maybe her concerns are valid. But if you want to keep her respect (or keep her at all), you do not allay her fears by complaining, or huffing-and-puffing. Ideally, you shouldn’t be in this situation at all, and if you are, maybe you need a dose of red pill self-improvement.

If you’re out at night, and a girl says something like “yeah, I like you, except that you’re too short”, then she’s not really voicing her concerns about your height (though from a genetic standpoint she may have a point): what she wants is to see how you respond to her rudeness. Do you flip out? Or do you skulk off with your tail between your legs? If so, you failed the shit test. You have lost frame, and entered the woman’s universe in which you are a short man and unworthy of her attention. Do not do this! To pass the test, you simply do not enter her universe. Instead of acknowledging her universe; her frame; her reality, deny the very validity of her frame’s existence. Then, like water conforming to its container, she is forced to conform to your reality, and she enters your universe. So make light of her jokes, take the piss out of her in a good-natured way. Don’t take her seriously: be audacious, funny, shocking – in a light-hearted way. You are untouchable by her insinuations, because your frame is stronger than hers. You pass this initial test, for you have shown her you have confidence and self-worth, yet without brittle vanity and pride. You made her world conform to your reality, and maybe you can make other worlds conform to your reality.


Don’t get angry at women for being this way. They’re all the same. She’s still dependent on you for so many things (despite the growing welfare state taking the position of husband for so many women). She’s just looking out for her own safety.

You need self-awareness to notice these shit tests. You must pay attention to the niggling sense of irritation. You need to understand what’s happening when it happens. Then you need to react correctly, which requires experience: to find the balance between being a tyrant and a lackey; a court jester and a kill-joy.

About the Author: